We are pregnant!

I am 12 weeks pregnant. We haven't told a lot of people. After our lost and our friends' lost, Tim prefers to keep this little bundle of joy as our little secret for a little bit longer. I have no problem with that but I also don't mind letting people know. If you happened to read this blog, you now know! :)

I've been feeling sick for the last 7 weeks or so. I always get tired, bloated, nausea, headache, you name it. I don't feel like eating, cooking, or doing anything. I lost weight instead of gaining and I feel really upset sometimes. I know I need to do stuff to make myself feel better (mentally), but at the same time, I needed my rest physically. I am hoping I will feel better in the next couple of weeks.

I am excited about my pregnancy. We tried a long time to get pregnant again. It was a roller coaster ride. We are very happy and also try to stay positive. I look forward to enjoy the next 6 and half more months and have a healthy baby in my arms in July.

It's been almost 10 months.




I think about my baby girl all the time.




We found out from the doctor that there were some kind of bacterial infection in my uterus and the cord, and that is the cause of death.




It's hard to understand. I just don't even think about it anymore. I just think about my Bonsai. I remember her moving around and pushing me. I really miss her.




We are trying to have another baby.. not working very well. It's frustrating and upsetting. I am hoping to use this blog again to write about Bonsai, trying a second baby, and hopefully motherhood.